Cinema Shows Week 12: The Young Victoria, 23rd March 2009, Phoenix, and Lesbian Vampire Killers, 26th March 2009, Odeon Freemans Park

• Total Ticket Outlay (on 9 British feature films released in 2009) – £34.92.5 

 

 

 

“Lesbian Vampire Killers, please”. These are four words that I never thought I would have to utter. I shared a largely empty cinema with I think three other people who were sat together. Young. I heard the occasional laugh-out-loud, but humour was  in short supply. Such a ‘come on’ title (tit-le?) deserves a more titillating and funny treatment. Too much treading carefully – a vampire farce filtered through ‘Scooby Doo’ ‘goings-on’ in ‘deepest’ Norfolk? I think Horne and Corden are good performers, but this is gruel-ing stuff. Thin and unsatisfying. Time to revisit Cannon and Ball’s The Boys in Blue (1982) I think, to see if the bottom has been scraped.

Earlier in the week I went to see The Young Victoria. I would normally give films like this a miss. Not ideal stuff for a republican with a dislike of heritage films. I was expecting something sexier, but I was given a lesson in succession politics, and felt like I was learning quite a lot. Chris was not happy with the puffy sleeves on the women’s dresses – something about them being out of fashion by then, at least in fashionable circles, but perhaps not at court. Hate to get into debates about realism, especially in costume drama. The highlight of the experience was being surrounded by representatives of the ‘grey pound’. At least 50 in the audience – average age 60-65. And all sat  together in the central section as if they had come together on a coach trip. I heard one woman chatting at the box office that she had heard that the film wasn’t very realistic – meaning playful with the truth. How real do you want your nightmares?

Though many teardrops are bound to fall
True love can conquer all
When you’re, when you’re young and in love

(”When You’re Young and in Love’, The Marvelettes)

Tags: british cinema, lesbian vampire killers, young victoria